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You're on a VPS now? An obvious question perhaps, but have you exhausted all options as far as optimising your site goes? If not, it might be worth posting a quick summary of what your site is; we might be able to suggest a couple of things to reduce your memory usage.
In particular, what OS is the VPS, and what processes are using the most memory? Is the site content mostly static or database driven; is it using custom code or an off-the-shelf solution; what language is it coded in? Are database driven pages customised for each user? Do you have any caching in place, and what db and web servers do you use?
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